Buddie, my dog, likes to play practical jokes on me. Before I left the house this morning, he thought it’d be funny to hide his slobbery chew toy inside of my laptop bag. I didn’t find out about it until now. The little bastard got me good.

This is what you do with junk mail: You take promotional offers from one company and you stick it in the business reply mail envelope of another. You do this until you get a huge stack and then you mail them out.